When will they get that I’m clean?
Early recovery can be a time of serious relational struggles. We feel the weight of the troubles we caused in the days of our active addiction and we feel a sense of urgency to make things right. Part of this is a desire to prove that we’ve changed and to experience the full confidence of others — that they believe that we’re doing well. That they know that we’re really clean. This is a time that requires unusual patience.
Kolmac Outpatient Recovery Center Counselor Rennie Grant (Roc) and Psychiatrist Dr. Tony Massey (Doc) answer your questions about addiction and recovery.
Roc & Doc talk more about it in this latest episode.
No one likes the feeling that others lack confidence in our recovery. It’s the idea that a friend or loved one, or even a boss, may have this suspicion that we’re still using or drinking. Or it’s the idea that others lack confidence in us — that they think we’re like a ticking time bomb — ready to relapse at any time.
We don’t like the feeling that others are handling us with kid gloves. That they’re walking on eggshells around us. That they aren’t being their true selves because they don’t want to cause us to slip or relapse. Or maybe it’s the idea that they can’t have fun around us — that we insert a sense of discomfort into the relational dynamic. Or worse — the sneaking suspicion that they still don’t trust us. They don’t really believe that we’ve sincerely changed and that recovery has completely transformed us. We want things to be the way they used to be before addiction emerged and ruined everything.
So what do we do with these feelings? Roc & Doc talk more about that in this episode.